no dear, not today

My life such as it is A waking nightmare Day to day, Hour to hour Moment to moment They will never see what I see They will never hear what I hear But what is normal? I wish I knew I wish I could create this world I’m in But it was chosen for me I wish the seizing would cease I wish there were nothing more to say I can only do what I can do I can only live today But there are so many seconds In every living day When they whisper in my ear Bury her, bury her in this way Take her into the desert and leave her with us We will show her who she truly is The ugly, inner child Undeserving, unloved, unwanted The burden that she is I see the spiders creep away into the cracks of my own mind They lie in wait for me to die So they can eat my eye Not the orbs I see from But the inner, seeing eye The truth, the truth, the truth Even I don’t see it anymore Is it God? What is God? Am I God? No, dear, not today.