no dear, not today

My life such as it is

A waking nightmare

Day to day,

Hour to hour

Moment to moment

They will never see what I see

They will never hear what I hear

But what is normal?

I wish I knew

I wish I could create this world I’m in

But it was chosen for me

I wish the seizing would cease

I wish there were nothing more to say

I can only do what I can do

I can only live today

But there are so many seconds

In every living day

When they whisper in my ear

Bury her, bury her in this way

Take her into the desert and leave her with us

We will show her who she truly is

The ugly, inner child

Undeserving, unloved, unwanted

The burden that she is

I see the spiders creep away into the cracks of my own mind

They lie in wait for me to die

So they can eat my eye

Not the orbs I see from

But the inner, seeing eye

The truth, the truth, the truth

Even I don’t see it anymore

Is it God?

What is God?

Am I God?

No, dear, not today.

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