No Facade

I have often found myself to be closed.

Afraid of the world, afraid of what I don't know.

To be 100% I'm never really open,

not understanding my own feelings,

dreams or even hopes.

I've always been good at a lot of things but,

have never really found my true calling.

I know I like history, music and science, but

how does one put that together in their life?

I'm very passionate when it comes to certain things.

Not necessarily a particular subject or category.

When I'm passionate I'm outspoken

and won't take no for an answer.

I am often hard headed never a quitter

as I fear to be a disappointment.

In groups I'm the outsider

never being anyone's bestfriend.

I've found that everyone I've gotten close to

turns out to be more of an emotional project.

I'm their shoulder to cry on,

a confidential acquaintance.

I am the one that fights with them

against their internal enemies within their subconscious.

The funny thing is that through all those fights

I ususally get burned and they're never there by my side.

My familly I take comfort in as they are always there for me.

We're small, but strong and can make it through anything.

From them I have learned the most

and for that I am grateful.

The life values I've learned

have supported me out side of the household.

I believe in family dinners and showing your love

as well as showing respect through

punctuality and a nice hello.

I'm still trying to understand my life

and there's a lot I don't know.

The truth is I have part of myself figured out

but I'm still searching for the rest.