No Hope

Wondering what life has to offer when all you see is failure. Breaking all promises. Letting the emptiness cave you into a dark hole to consume you. Did you think that I would end up a success with all those failing words you put through my head? Your lack of support made it very clear that I would have to strive for help on my own. You couldn't believe that all your lack of support and negativity made me want to end my precious life. Made me feel unwanted and unloved. Made me feel like I had no purpose. Well what you don't know is I strive everyday to just keep my world from unwinding. Just like when I was 16. Lost. Confused. Damaged. My self-inflicting behavior took over. Creating a lonely lost soul. Hurting. Screaming. Running. Hiding those disturbing scars so no one would ask questions. You definitely made me feeling like you never wanted me born. Blocking out the most traumatic event that happened to me. Making out like I did it myself, when it was you who made those terrifying marks on my face. I can still feel the pain. It brings me tears of depression to have to remember every event of hurtful rage you and him caused me. All the sad "I hate you's" to the horrible abuse that caused me even more mental instability. I hope you realize that if there is no hope for me. There is no hope for you