No Longer

When the finality finally struck

It was almost soothing

Sigh…

I no longer had to wait on you

I no longer anticipated your calls

Your words

Your smile

You.

I still know you more than anyone

I dread the next time that I run into you

Mainly because the truth will finally hit

That I will never be entirely over you

Premonitions in my life have often turned to truths

I still picture the mountains and that view

The crackling fire inside

And the snowcapped woods outside

You with that cup of black coffee

Singing while coming closer to me

At one time we both planned our forever

Such a beautiful dream that I need to forget

The deepness of your voice was soothing

To my everlasting anxiety

At ease for the few times in my current life

My love for purple has vanished

I only feel sadness and regret

I try to notice different colors in my life

Regardless of who translucent they are

I never thought that I would push you away

Or that you would be so quick to turn off the switch

That wildfire in me burnt everything

Only leaving remnants of ash swirling in the heated breeze

We were doomed from the start

You got your secret revenge on the person you needed to

And I was left with feeling too much

I am an expert at masking my feelings

But only when my brain is clear

When I am infected

I cannot control the truths that come out of me

My thoughts of you are bitter

There is a void

No matter how many times I tried to show my strength

I ended up losing more

And more

Of myself

And                                                                                                            

you.