No longer

And no, when I heard your name I did no longer shake with my legs and watched myself if my hair was made right. If I had the right clothes on, shoes, make up. Did I say too much? Less? ,,Mhm..was he maybe uncomfortable when I smiled at him? But it's a *kindly gesture*", ... If I should wave at you or not, talk with you or not, gift you or not, celebrate you or- These questions accrued after you vanished my love in the process, in the understandment. No lover would ask this question but just do, let their instinct guide. And No, I did no longer got excited when you looked at me. No, I did no longer feel good when you complimented me, understood, beutiful. No, it did not give me love, nor confidence, it made me now uncomfortable. Now I look at you with annoyance.