No longer alive

I walk around with no heart. 

So that when you aim for it. 

It's a shot in the dark. 

I'm always in drive never park. 

Just trying to always figure out 

is this love, lust, or just passion with a spark. 

It seems anyone I put time into never stays. 

I make time on my side but in the end before we meet somehow their feelings sway. 

I tried different things now I'm done trying. 

This book but the grave I lay my heart in. 

Rest in pieces; 

I'm done lying. 

I'm always saying I'm okay after and it's cool. 

When it seems misleading me is the number one way to sever my soul from my existence. 

I connect the dots. 

I always go the distance. 

I got a complex life 

one blink and you missed it. 

I leave my heart in a safe in my safe space. 

But now it's that very safe space 

that I desecrate. 

Drag my heart to the graveyard 

now I say my grace. 

It seems going through life without it is the only way my time can be used properly. 

No more clouded judgement. 

Cold shoulders and disconnected vibes. 

It's funny though. 

Even after all those hard times up till now;

Somehow I still tried 

to find a love lost deep inside. 

Now I just bury my heart leave my soul juggle my pride and struggle to live life dead. 

I no longer fantasize about being alive.