No Memory

It all ended

The 10^th grade school year

No more homework and stress

A whole two months to himself

For relaxation and jubilation

He was ready for the sleepless nights

Time spent with friends

No worries, but relief

Parties and the crazy times

These were all hopes;

Hopes of what a summer for a high school student would be

It was time for him to go out

Like a 21 year old experiencing a new year of freedom

But his dreams were all smashed,

Shattered like a glass hitting the floor

Reality set in and life woke him up

He was no longer in his fun summer

Summer days became longer

They became filled with sadness

A dark gray sky hovering over head

He fell into a deep coma of sorrow and unhappiness

He was alone with no one to talk too

Had no choice but to bottle in all the emotions and hurt

He couldn’t tell anyone!

He couldn’t tell his dad, because his dad was a problem

He couldn’t tell friends because he felt like a burden

No one to open up to because there was no trust

Insecurities overcrowded his mind

Summer progressed but he didn’t

He was stuck in an ever-lasting funk

He felt that everyday would get longer

Every day seemed to be a new impossible task to overcome

Trapped in the House of Usher,

Full of sadness, madness

All he did seemed dark and wicked

He didn’t truly understand what was going on

Was his life over?

Or did he want it to be?

What he was going through killed him

Emotionally, mentally, and physically

He cried every day

Slept all day

And found it harder to eat and live each day

Life, this complicated puzzle:

He cried every day, asking to die

Asking for his world and life to crumble to ashes

Fall through the cracks and end up as nothing

He was tired of asking

Every day asking the same thing:

“Can this be all over?”

“Can I disappear?”

“Can I just die already?”

He took matters into his hands

Found a way to end it:

The tragedy.

A bottle of pills for an eternal sleep

That’s all he craved

Two times he attempted to end

Two dreadful and painful times

Moments that scared him forever.

He was sure his life was over

But now he can be happy

But he wasn’t, he woke up

To judgment and hatred of himself

He was sure he would have died but he didn’t

He was black and red.

Sinful and full of danger

Sins for what he did and chose to do

Danger for himself

He asked for help

Endless help

Stopped being alone

And reached out

Spoke to friends and parents

Life was moving on for the troubled boy

The puzzle of life was becoming complete

He finally had things in order

Finally the sun smiled brightly on him

Once again school came along

11^th grade, a whole new year

He looked for happiness in friends

And a new place for a new person

After a dreadful summer

He was ready to move on

He decided to forget

Forget the tragedy and unhappiness

He acted like he forgot

He had no memory of what happened

He had to forget

In order to avoid remembering and feeling again

He was a changed boy

A boy with a new life

And No Memory