No One
My throat spoke to me
It said let me go
I can't breathe, I am suffering
This Isn't fair to me, what are you doing this for?
Why are you doing this to me?
And all I could think was how much longer would I bleed?
How much more pain would I endure?
How much more suffering would I receive?
And how many more demons would I let inside of me?
I opened my veins and they started talking, saying this past year had been a conspiracy
They started crying as they told me their colors changed with the season
And they asked did I have a reason?
Did I have a reason for breaking?
Maybe I didn't, maybe the reason I've been talking to picture frames and walls is because they started talking to me first, started saying how lovely I was and how my wrists were beautiful
How the way the scars tracing their way up to my shoulder was a sign of beauty not pain
How the crying at night was a sign of bravery and that I wasn't insane.
I wish I could believe them, I wish I could stop for a moment and see all the scars, see all the missing blood in my veins and the bruises inside of my rib cage. I was hurting and for what purpose? For some unnamed god? For the voices screaming in my ear and for all the murders I had thought? I had no friends but me, and one night I told the wall of my story and it screamed at me, why did it scream at me?
Why did I let go of its covers and let it fall into the sea, was it blasphemy? did the wall hate me for showing who I was and did it leave just because?
The next day came and I heard no voices, I heard no talking about how the blood pouring down my wrists were of beauty, I had no throat telling me to stop or veins to say it hurts. I had no more friends, so I started to mourn
Why am I suffering? Why am I so lonely in this world I had grown sane?
God isn't here with me, maybe there wasn't one
I couldn't tell, I couldn't tell anymore because for all of the times I screamed in my house, all of the times I broke down, I still had no one, I still had no one.