No one knows

No one knows my struggles no one ever sees my pain.. They dont the battles i have to fight just to maintain. They see what i let them.. what i let them to see. No one really knows who i am no one knows the real me.. They see a smile and think im happy and hear a laugh and think im good. But i feel like a stranger without a mask walking around covered with a hood. I look in the mirror who is that, that i see. I dont recognized those dark eyes who is staring back at me. They say I am gifted that i can write and draw. My life is a gamble like the game the pick of a straw. The shortest will lose and the tallest will win. If i dont change my path im afraid my life will soon come to an end. They say I'm a loner i just stay to my self. I been betrayed most of my life so its hard to trust anyone else. I see beauty in everything that my eyes let me see. From the smallest tiny ant up to the tallest tree. I am a faithfull man i believe in the almighty from above. I'm a lonely soul just here searching trying to find love. I will scarifice my self and give them my all. If it means that my family will not stumble nor fall. I did somethings in the past and yes believe I do somewhat regret. But its all a lesson from God that we must learn and never forget. I been walking this path solo just one deep. I toss and turn at night so I barely get any sleep. People say they like I always have a positive outlook of life. But you would be too if you knew all the things that I survived. I see this world in a different perspective. I'm not picky or choosy nor some what selective. I love many and all kinds of sorts of stuff. I am kind and caring but in this cruel world you have to grow up tough. People mostly see what right in front of there face. I'm a person who sees more in this world full of space. I never been materialistic and had to get everything new. If it works good and looks fine i dont mind buying it used. If you ever get to know me you will say i have alot of stuff. But the road to get all that wasn't easy man it was tough. No one knows my struggles no one ever see my pain. They don't know the battles i have to fight just to maintain.