No Words

Saying the words I cannot speak without actually opening the mouth. The subtle noise ringing off the guitar telling the story for me the slowness of the tempo helps tell my adventures. The sad, lonely days that seem to appear "Express yourself" is what they told me but how do you express this monster deep in my soul. "Keep singing" they said, "You'll make it one day" but as the days pass by I'm still here with no words left to say. The dullness of my fingers shows how much I've played. And the energy keeps pouring, pouring out of my soul my life's just gone to pieces. so gone I can't even find words. no words of kindness, nor happiness, or pain. No words to explain my tears or the anger deep inside. Just a useless human being no voicebox no life. But for some reason I keep pushing keep pushing to find these words. As the strings beneath my fingers change the rhythm for me something needs to change. Things are meant to be different. Gaining a voice isn't that easy. Not while everyone is playing different tunes. but as the notes soon form together, they make my song. not your song. or his song. but my song. I try to open my mouth but still-nothing these feelings inside of me knocking on my insides eating my gut numbing all the feelings I have left. They need to come out. They need to be expresses to be wanted. This feeling in my chest, it's like no other. If I don't find the words to say I may fall to the ground and die- not that it makes much difference for am I really alive? no individuality just a clone of what people want me to be just stuck in myself waiting to get out. The hope eating me alive while bitterness, frustration, happiness pound at my skin I'm stuck this way forever. But between you and me, forever should end a lot faster.