No Words, Just Expression

Why am I so emotional?
Is it because I have a mom that loves cocaine more than me?
Remember the night when I was eight and you told me to get out and I said "Mommy why aren't you moving?"
You showed that needle more love than you ever did me
Or is it because I have a dad who never held me as a child?
You remember me dad? The flamboyant son who now everyone accepts  besides you.
You remember the night you came home drunk and beat me because I was wearing mom's heels I found in the closet?
All I wanted was love from you
Growing up, all I wanted to be was the son you wanted me to be
I had nightmares and you never came to my rescue
Now I'm twenty five
I'm an outsider
So do you hate me because I dress a certain way?
Or because I don't act the way you want me to?
What about you mom?
Still holding that crack pipe close to your heart?
So close that you couldn't see my anguish?
So close that you couldn't defend me?
I have a lot of questions and you only have one answer
I don't know