not to be read

a pen on paper in a dimly lighted room. a teenager struggling to cut through the gloom. my poems are not to be read. a way to sort the thoughts jumbled up in my head, as I sit here cross legged and heartbroken on my bed. when I feel as if I'm going to explode, my notebook is the only place to unload. my poems are how I can explain. when I feel like I can't fight through this pain, i'm allowed to silently cry and complain. a pen on paper under the shade of a tree. a teenager thriving happy as can be. my poems are not to be read. expressing my joys when I feel like dancing instead, documenting every single word said. when I feel as if I am on top of the world, my notebook's the only place it's unfurled. my poems are my way to express when I feel like dying of happiness, my greatest secrets I am able to confess. I write when my emotions are stupendous. when these feelings I have become tremendous. when there is no other way to explain. when the words I have are too strong to contain. when my heart is too full to breathe. when my chest feels too empty to grieve. I don't write to be read, I write to be heard instead.