The days are slow and the calls come fast
“Where are you?”
“Who is there?”
“Why did you wear that top”
Questions go back and forth in little blue boxes
Boxes that are somehow supposed to show someone miles away what I feel
These little blue boxes make or break us
We sometimes spend hours making sure a sentence sounds true
Do I say “yes” or “yea”
But what if he thinks I’m being too serious?
What if I am serious?
Do I want him to know that?
Now questions go back and forth in our heads.
These are questions we don’t want anyone to hear because they make us look crazy.
Well maybe I am crazy.
For loving you.
For giving my time to someone who speculates when I wear a shirt that shows some cleavage
For giving my time to someone who whips me around when I try to walk away
For giving my time to someone who says I can’t love Jesus because I’m not even capable of love
My time is more valuable than this
You say these things that destroy me
You say these things that make me feel wrong
And you say it’s because you love me
But that doesn't make sense
If you loved me I wouldn’t be going to sleep in tears
With black streaks running fast down my face like they have somewhere to be
Love is not when someone consumes your mind every second of the day
Love is when someone consumes your thoughts and all you can think about is how to make their day better
Love is when you’re a better person because of them
And I know your dad never gave you an example of real love
And I know that’s not your fault
But look around
In the music we listened to, in the movies I forced you to watch
In the world today you have to put in effort to not understand what love should look like.
And I know this may not be your fault, but don’t you dare say it’s because you love me.