Not Fine

Hello and goodbye

the same each day

waiting for something new

something different

a sign that life can get better

I'll smile at you 

but inside I'm screaming

I'm not fine

not even close

but you'll never know

Looking back

I don't know how it came to this

the sadness consuming me

as I hide behind a curtain

no one suspects anything

Why I can't talk about it

I don't know

I must find the strength

but I need to come to terms myself first

before letting anyone in on my secret

Seek help they say

but it's not that easy

they think I'm happy and normal

they won't believe me when I tell them

that things aren't always as they appear

There might be a way out

but I don't want to risk even more disappointment

I'll pretend that I'm fine

I don't want to hurt anyone else

I'll be happy, but I'm really not fine