Not a Fucking Choice

My gender isn’t a choice

My sexuality isn’t a choice

It doesn’t make me a freak

I’m sorry if you feel that way

But I’m not.

At least, not because of that.

People are born as they are

It has nothing to do with how I was raised,

Because my dad?

He’s transphobic and homophobic

He raised me on that damn bible

He said I must comply

That it was the one true law

The only thing I need ever believe in

That I exist only because it exists.

I found it a little backwards, then

That he was so damn unsupportive

Because doesn’t that book tell you

To love your neighbor?

To love all like He loves you?

To treat others with respect and dignity?

Repeatedly?

But no,

My father, like many others,

Chooses to quote one mistranslated passage

One that was supposed to say “…man lies with boy…”

Not “man lies with man”

Not “homosexuality is a sin”.

But you know what?

If homosexuality is a sin

And gay people are going to burn in hell

Then at least I’ll be with my friends

My people

Those who understand.

I hope I get my own private sector of hell

Away from the assholes who abused me and bullied me and taunted me

My whole life

Because they don’t deserve to breathe

(Do you breathe in hell?)

The same air as me.

They don’t deserve to be graced with my presence

Or those of my friends.

I hope that my friends and I

Party it up in our little section of hell.

I’d rather be a sinner

And burn in hell

For being who I really am

Than fake it

And lie to myself

To join a bunch of insufferable know-it-alls

In what my dad calls

“Heaven”.