Not Here Anymore

He was there when I was born

He held me when I cried

He was there on my first Christmas

And he was there when I turned five

But he’s not here anymore

He was there until boot camp

I tried my hardest not to cry

Then came Africa, Iraq, and Afghanistan

No matter where he was he always made time

But he’s not here anymore

He was there to help me through the tough times of my young life

He was there to give me guidance

When I made a huge mistake

I often depended on his strength

But he’s not here anymore

He was there when he came home

To keep a promise he once made

To be there on my graduation day

I wish I would have known then that day wouldn’t come

But he’s not here anymore

It was thanksgiving morning

I was happy as could be

Until I heard the news that crushed me

Two words was all it took

For me to realize he wasn’t there anymore

Tears flowed from my eyes

Like a river at midnight

I poured drink after drink

Just trying to numb the pain

Because he wasn’t there anymore

Weeks passed

The funeral came

I broke the only rule I’ve ever made

I cried throughout that day

Because he isn’t here anymore

Months passed

Nothing changed

My heart ached in the worst way

There wasn’t anything anyone could do or say

Because he wasn’t here anymore

To this day I still cry

And wonder why

Why he made the decision to drink and drive

Didn’t he know he could lose his life

And now he isn’t here anymore

He once helped me with my mistakes

Until he made his fatal one

That took him from us

Most days it doesn’t seem fair

Because he’s not there

I can’t say he used to be my anything

Because he still is

My cousin

My brother

And my real life super hero

Even though he’s not here anymore