Not A Hero

A hero is never sad.
A hero shouldn’t be sad.
So why?
Why do I feel like this?

A hero doesn’t cry.
A hero mustn’t cry.
So what is this?
What are these tears
Running down my face?

A hero must be happy.
A hero shouldn’t not be happy.
And yet
I don’t remember
What that feels like.

What is this?
WHAT IS THIS?
Why can’t I feel?
WHY AM I CRYING?

His face
Staring across the battlefield.
The sad smile.
The emerald eyes
That spoke a million unknown words.

I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry.

I aim.
And pull the trigger.