That Is Not Love

They say I am too young to know what love is.

They say that what I felt for you was not love but extreme lust.

They say that the way you held me,

Or the way we kissed with mouths open

Your exhale becoming one with my inhale

Breathing in your stress

And your worries for that day

That is not love

They say that the way we talked to each other

With a reckless trust that not even God could break

Or the way we talked until 5 am

Knowing that work was nearing at 8 am

Only to not care and do it again, and again, and again.

That is not love

They say that the way I felt that day

Oh god that day

That day I had a 3 ton weight crushing my lungs

That day I couldn’t breathe

When all the light was destroyed by the darkness

That day I had 2 anxiety attacks and could barely stand

You were supposed to be my man

You were my air, my strength

You were mine for a moment

I was yours for a time

And I don’t know when you turned into them

Was it when you said

“This is not love”

Or was it when you said

“I love her.”

I don’t know when you turned into them

But I do know years later

I turned very slowly but nonetheless

I turned into them

That was not love.

What we had was just a whirlwind affair

Started with nothing but an across the room stare

In the end you stole my air and everything I ever needed

I will forever hate the way I was treated in the end

But we will never be again

Because what we had was not love

But more like a funeral dove

Beautiful yet tragic

We were not in love

We just were and I think that’s what hurt the most

Losing the one I thought I trusted most

So I guess they were right

That was not love.