this is not love

words grip me into a choking hold

as i grasp for air

from your overbearing love

that tighten my vocal chords

 

i ask for you to leave

instead, you leave me in despair

 

"what is love?" i ask

you answer with an unmeasurable tide,

washing away the blood;

the chaos you caused

 

i drown

for i am constantly learning how to swim

and my toes cannot touch the ground

 

"what is love?" i ask

you answer with your threatening hands

i love the way you touch me

you tell me that you're sorry

and i don't understand

 

you say it's okay

because i love you

i say it's okay, but i know:

 

this is not love