This Is Not A Love Poem

Because this is not poetry

Poetry is soft and beautiful and I am not 

I am all hard edges and dark eyes and steel bullets breaking from my lips

The heavy artillery that pulled us apart and kept you away

 

Poetry is gentle and careful and I am not

The day you handed me your heart, I dropped it on the ground because the only "c" word I am is clumsy, not careful

 

This is not poetry because poetry must rhyme, according to my ninth grade English teacher, but for the life of me I can find a rhyme for the sound of my heart splitting in half

 

This is not a love poem because I said I would never write a poem about you again 

You make my art feel as dirty and broken as you left me

 

This is not a love poem because love poems are supposed to be written in the soft glow  of mid morning, not at 2 AM with my hand shaking around the pen clenched in my right hand

Love poems leave you happy and blushing when you scribble them in cursive in a pink heart shaped notebook, not make you spit fire and blood because these memories aren't lines with soft clouds, they are caked with dirt and smell like late nights and tear soaked pillows, they sear the shallow stitches on the deep wound you left 

 

This is not a love poem because poetry is written by authors with degrees from fancy universities, not a girl with mismatched socks and a weakness for loving too fast and hating too hard

 

This is not a love poem because last time I checked, poetry is written down with care and consideration, not shouted into the page with the force of an earthquake and the weight of every single lie you told me

 

This is not a love poem because one of those lies was "I love you"

 

This is not a love poem because I don't love you anymore