This is not a love poem

This is not a love poem,

but,

have I told you lately how much your smile captivates me?

I see it so rarely it acts as a beam of light,

so bright I have to wear sunglasses and even those won't help.

Have I told you lately,

that the sound of your laugh automatically brings a smile to my face?

If there was ever a time I didn't smile at you...

you just didn't see it.

I am entranced by you-

but I'm too shy to hint at my emotions:

I tell myself, if I give too much of myself away,

you'll get tired and turn around.

I've been told before

that I'm brave...

I had to laugh.

I thought to myself 'that's a sick joke.'

I am afraid of EVERYTHING.

Baby said it best in Dirty Dancing

"I'm scared of who I am, but most of all,

I'm scared of walking out the door and feeling for the rest of my whole life,

the way I feel when I'm with you."

I'm scared of the way I feel when I'm with you 

I'm scared that you'll catch on and see me differently;

you don't realize how many butterflies hatch from their cocoons when I'm talking to you

I don't make eye contact because I fear

that if you look long enough you'll uncover all the secrets haunting my heart.

This is not a love poem!

I'm not in love with you, 

but I feel I have the potential to love you enough to give you a piece of myself

that I didn't even know existed.

This is not a love poem.

I am not in love with you-

I don't even know if I ever will love you...

but right now, in this moment...

I really, really, really like you...

A lot.