Not ready

I know you didn't mean what you said... But no more gifts please.... Stop apologizing.... I get it I understand.. Doesn't mean I'll forgive you I get you like getting me things but after hear those words it triggered me... I can no long accept gifts... I'm going to look at them and wonder... Which word came to mind for this? Cheap? Simple? Basic? .... Is that how you see me Please understand it will take a while for me to get over this... I get it wasn't intentional... But old memories flooded my brain.... Old feelings came back.... Old wounds coming into light.... I don't want to look at a gift and say why? For what? What did you do? I'm not ready to forgive or get gifts ... Please understand...