Not ready, not yet.

It started with a cap and gown

Cheers and laughter with hats covering the sky as clouds

piercing the sun as it flies into the air

Until flashes of light hit my eyes

On its way down I wake up

Awaken from my dream.. No a nightmare

Of decisions responsibilities and growing up

No i'm not ready, not yet

It started with a seat belt

A glance in the mirror

Turning the key but then a slam on the break immediately

The force of the car going forward and backwards like a rocking chair

It throws me through the windshield as I awake

Getting my license was a nightmare

places to be, roads to cross, going through lights on a touch and go   

No no i’m not ready, not yet

Boys and girls holding hands

All at the time middle school began

Does he love me or love me not I open my locker

Over to the right 15, then left passing zero to 24, then all the way right to 5

Will you go to the 6th grade dance with me

A locker shuts

Getting asked out would be every girls dream

Not for me my

heart races, emotions make me start pacin, I just can't take it

I'm not ready, not yet

Red yellow blue

These are the colors of my own hand print tattoos

Teacher! teacher! look the paint it covers my skin am I pretty again

Learning the ABC’s and rhyming things

Now learning to read

The Teacher speaks

I wake up from the nightmare

No learning no teaching nothing hard only basic

Colors, recess, and abc’s

No i'm not ready yet

Hospital bed and mother yelling

Father holding on to mamas hand

brother sits in the waiting room patiently

The doctor comes in

March 21 what a beautiful day to have a baby

1...2….3… push!

I hold my breath

No life

no struggles

no family

This baby isn't ready

Nor will they ever be

Not yet.