Not What I Planned

I am not the person I grew up thinking I would be when I was little.

I believed that somehow, I’d turn out tall like my dad, even though he got the recessive trait of tallness.

I thought that I would be slender, like all the other girls in my school, and look as gorgeous as they did, I thought I would like myself more.

However, this didn’t happen, life isn’t plannable. You can’t just write down what you want to be at a certain time, and it will magically happen.

The real question is; am I disappointed I didn’t turn out how I’d imagine I’d be? Was it a nightmare growing into this form I didn’t plan on having?

No.

At this point in time, I’m still short, I’m pudgy, and nothing special. Yet...this doesn’t bother me as  much as some would think.

This person that I’ve become, who’s learned how to see all sides of life, appreciate the dark and the light, and still wonder, and imagine.

I don’t always love myself, but I know I have my up’s and down’s and I try to make others proud and see the better.

I’m strong, I don’t like to give up even when I’m overcome with procrastination, a heavy blanket whispering for me to push it off.

I’m aggressive. When I’m put into a competition that I want to win, I will fight the others in whatever way I need too.

Clever and cunning when I need to be, tricking and turning things into different ways, sometimes trying to get the outcome that will benefit yours truly alone.

Helping others overcome their own battles since we all are our own worst enemies, and I fall,  I know I’m not alone, like they were not.

I’m still like a child when among friends, but I am able to act as mature and studious when I need too, depending on how the day changes.

I could never hurt animals, and became the reason why I couldn’t become a vet, I couldn’t put down an animal no matter what.

I am a person who has only a part of their life written out, and the rest just waiting to have it laid out. Each day new, and full of adventures waiting to happen, and experiences to make more ‘what if I was...’ into more of ‘I am..’

But most of all, I am a human, strong and proud, working to achieve a dream, that’s only started to come true.

I am me.