Not where I use to be

Depression and anxiety,


Those things that try to come back to me.


O and that PTSD,


It tries to take me,


Back to that dark place I don’t like to be.


Someone will visit me,


on top of me,


that pressure of someone invading me,


Killing this part of me,


Making me wish they would just kill me.


Then facing that truth that my mind plays tricks on me.


The feeling of just wanting an endless sleep,


haunting me.


 


 Then I remember how less often these haunting are coming for me


With the help of my therapist, my psychiatrist and me.


I remember that day, god told me


“God never gives you more than you can handle”, through Joel Osteen.


Reminding me of my capabilities.


I remember I am not where I use to be.


I am no longer that young girl you see,


That one being hurt secretly.


Family drama and distraction are now behind me.


I have goals now overflowing out me.


 


And I can’t forget about joy you see,


You know laughter with your coworkers, friends and family,


Even that simple joy of watching TV,


Or that fun I have with my friends vacationing


All giving me a reason to be.


 


So I never let things get the best of me,


Not even that PTSD,


Because things always ended up being okay you see,


So I’ve learn to live this life faithfully.

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

slorielle

Feel free to share and comment =)

purplerant

Hi!

I just wanted to say that I really like this poem. I think that it is very powerful. I'm proud of you for overcoming such awful things, and I hope that you are proud of yourself. Sometimes (for me, at least) it's hard to step back and see all of the progress that's been made, but I hope you realize yours! I can't wait to see what things you write next! Be sure to link them somehow here, because I would love to read them.

<3

Andrea

slorielle

Awww Thanks ! Will do! ... Sometimes I forget but not for long. I fall but I get back up fast and remember my progress. have a great day!

bella.angelo.sarah

Thank you for sharing your story! I suffer from PTSD as well from physical and sexual abuse and have the same thoughts and feelings. Sometimes it takes control and you feel helpless and trapped in the memories of trauma but sometimes you see the light. I'm glad you're seeking help and it's working I need to do so as well. again thank you for sharing and if you'd like to check out some of my poems it would be greatly appreciated! <3 love this one

slorielle

seeking help was the BEST decision I have ever made. I chose to give me all I got. =) My goal was to not let what has happen to me become "me " if that make sense ... and let me tell you... I am NOT where I use to be. and i hope you have started getting help. Have a bless day!

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