Not where I use to be

Depression and anxiety,

Those things that try to come back to me.

O and that PTSD,

It tries to take me,

Back to that dark place I don’t like to be.

Someone will visit me,

on top of me,

that pressure of someone invading me,

Killing this part of me,

Making me wish they would just kill me.

Then facing that truth that my mind plays tricks on me.

The feeling of just wanting an endless sleep,

haunting me.

 Then I remember how less often these haunting are coming for me

With the help of my therapist, my psychiatrist and me.

I remember that day, god told me

“God never gives you more than you can handle”, through Joel Osteen.

Reminding me of my capabilities.

I remember I am not where I use to be.

I am no longer that young girl you see,

That one being hurt secretly.

Family drama and distraction are now behind me.

I have goals now overflowing out me.

And I can’t forget about joy you see,

You know laughter with your coworkers, friends and family,

Even that simple joy of watching TV,

Or that fun I have with my friends vacationing

All giving me a reason to be.

So I never let things get the best of me,

Not even that PTSD,

Because things always ended up being okay you see,

So I’ve learn to live this life faithfully.