A Note To You

I am sitting in my room and I'm getting consumed

by these emotions and I feel like I am doomed.

I feel like I am trash that got swept by a broom.

I am in a bad mood listening to sad tunes.

I am feeling a lot of pain and don't want it to turn to hate.

I know she just can't help how she feels, but I still think she's great.

Maybe getting so close might've been a mistake.

How can I like her so much and not even been on a date?

I think this truly sucks because I really did like her.

Our situation is rough and I feel like I would fight for

her if I knew that she felt the same way.

I'm thinking about it now, who knows if she felt the same?

Maybe she is playing me just like I am a game.

Even if that is true, she is still the first thought in brain.

I like her even though she is the one to change

my stance on being single. That really isn’t the same.

I never really thought that I'd be down.

Relationships aren’t my thing and I know how that sounds.

This girl really has my head spinning around.

But now I feel like I'm the fool, a circus clown.

When we are together we always have so much fun.

You went back to your ex-boyfriend, so now I think I’m done.

You are intelligent, beautiful, and your future is bright like the sun.

But now that he is back in your life, I feel like he has won.

How can you expect for you and I to just be friends?

I need you to respect that I liked you and this is how it ends.

Last night I had a dream that I'm driving a Benz

Do you want to know if you were there? That depends

on how much that you like me, and if you are lying.

I never used to do this with girls, it was too much trying.

I feel like we are standing on the ground and I want to be flying.

When you first read this, I hope it doesn't leave you crying.

Even though I probably know the answer.

It is like breaking your leg on stage if you were a dancer.

Or bad news like a doctor who has just said cancer.

I'm surely going to miss all of our flirting and cute banter.

Now I want to tell you what I know you're going to miss.

You’ll miss my personality and the way I kiss.

You’ll miss messing with me and laughing in the bliss.

I never really thought that you'd walk away from this.

But you really did, so I know that it's over.

I have to move on in a straight line like a soldier.

I have to keep a straight face like I'm playing poker.

Now I put the good times in my memory folder.

Don't twist what I said, I really had a blast.

Now I have to move on and put you in the past.

I’m sad I couldn't prove you wrong, I think things went too fast.

If you know me, you know I hate coming in last.

I am thinking about it now and I just really wanted a chance.

I know it really sucks because the circumstance

that you are in doesn’t allow you to enhance

any feelings that you might've had at last glance.

I hope you remember that first time in the car.

When we kissed on the way home from the bar.

We went to the diner and then we came home. I was in awe

because that first kiss might've sent me to the stars.

Fast forward a couple months and now there's just a scar

from that time you grabbed my back, and then you clawed.

I didn’t realize losing you would be this hard.

Oh my god, I really should've been on guard.

I'm not going to lie, all that pain really hurt.

But what I'm feeling now is so much worse.

I can't even describe it nor put it in a verse.

I hope you get to graduate and become a nurse.

I don't want to be malicious, I just want the best for you.

I have some things going on and I don't want to stress you too.

You say that you like me, but who knows if that’s really true.

Now I'm doing my own thing just like I was blessed to do.

I would give up everything, I'd even give up the world.

I would give up anything so I can call you my girl.

If you were with me, I'd buy you diamonds and pearls.

That is not all if you entered into my world.

I would tell you everything and you'd have all my trust.

I would be the perfect boyfriend because that’s a must

and even after years together there would still be lust.

Anything that I would do, we have already discussed.

It would be all laughs and we'd even have a date night.

We’d have it on a rooftop as long as you’re not scared of heights.

I’m looking at the city and I'm seeing all the pretty lights.

I would be mesmerized just because you’re in my sight.

But I know this won't happen and it’s not even a might.

Don’t get the wrong idea, this is not out of spite.

The reason that I’m writing this is I am just kind of tight

because you tell me you're going left, and then you make a right.

If we were together I know that we would never fight

because if we argue, I would just say you are right.

When I make a lot money I would take you on a flight.

Or we can just go to the park and watch our kids fly kites.

I have a lot of things going on and I don't know what to write.

I just wish you were a princess so I could be your knight.

Just tell me you still like me even if it's only slight.

Even though you won't pick me, so this must be goodnight.

I wake up with a multitude of mixed emotions.

My feelings keep on shifting and changing like the oceans.

Should I really show her this? There might be a huge commotion.

I decide to give it to her, but I’m moving in slow motion.

I know I have to give it to her, I have to show her how I feel.

I can’t do it in front of her though, my face I can’t reveal.

I put it in her mailbox and now I know it’s real.

I know it would mean more to talk to her and this is not ideal.

Everyone has that one person, one relationship that they can say changed them.

How do I know if this is that relationship and if it is not, how will I know when?