Nothing Ever Changes

People have told me for years that it was “all going to be okay,” and that “it would all get better soon.” Bullshit. It never gets better, it only gets worse. Everytime I take a step, I get pulled back 12 steps. I’ve tried to focus on the positive and ignore the negative, but it’s hard to ignore the demons following you. There’s no way to escape- but when you die you don’t know where you’ll go, you just hope it’s better than where you are now. Even when you’re surrounded by close friends, you still feel so alone and empty. Pill after pill, drink after drink, cut after cut, and it still isn’t enough. It gets harder to fake a smile the more you hurt. “Keep going?” Where do you go when you only go in circles? Fake it until you make it- unless you don’t make it.