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now I know


and I was so sad because I had disappointed myself yet again 

and I didn't live up to my own expectations 
they said they were proud of me but I wasn't proud of myself. 
but i looked up for just a second to see if
i could see the sun 
and I didn't see the sun but i saw the boy
where we ate dinner last night and he called me the pretty lady
and he was looking at me again
today
and I walked right past thinking that he
couldn't possibly 
be
looking at me 
so i trudged past, eyes to the dismal gray 
ground
but then silver  glittered from my wrist and so
did that word I wore there
 
i did something out of character and I turned
back
and the boy that called me a lady was still 
staring at me
and he had the stupidest 
grin
on his face
 
and when I turned away I found that
I stole his grin
because I am worthy
to be happy. 
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