Now I See

Since I was born, my right eye had a muscle deficiency. I always needed to exert more effort to focus on nearby objects to prevent my right eye from being cross-eyed. At a certain point in middle school, my condition had gotten so critical that my doctor recommended that I wear an eyepatch daily to practice strengthening my eye - even at school. I could only see half of my surroundings, but I still vividly remember feeling all the teasing stares and fingers pointed at me. I felt so powerless and lost the confidence I once had to engage with my peers and teachers. 

Being made ruthlessly made fun of, I grew increasingly dissatisfied with my appearance and eventually went through eye surgery to get rid of my eyepatch. My greed for wanting to please others and sway their judgement had not ended there however, as I soon aspired to stand out for another reason - my grades and involvement in school. Wishing to be remembered in the others' minds as the "smart girl" and not, "the girl with the eyepatch", I studied endlessly in all of my classes receiving exceptional grades, studying every night until midnight, to ingrain every single piece of information into my mind. 

Over time my efforts helped me regain the respect my peers, even those who had teased me before. In spite of this, by the time I had realized I reclaimed their admiration, I didn't need it anymore. My eye deficiency, although responsible for my initial yearning of adoration from others, has given me the powerful tool of motivation which has propelled me throughout my academic career. Overwhelmingly so, it has moved me to a point to which I feel fulfilled with my accomplishments, as other people's approval of what I should appear like, no longer phases me. As I still continue to struggle with my self-confidence because of my eye deficiency, I continue to utilize the lessons it has taught me, and strive for greatness in all aspects of my education - this time for no one but myself.