Now That I've Found the Strength to Speak

All used up and all tweaked out, too young to know what life's about. After all, you were just a kid yourself. Two blue lines--a tragedy. You had only turned fifteen You weren't ready for, not ready for Reality. Then I was born. All used up and all tweaked out, no cry came from my little mouth. Though I tried like hell to shout, no sound came out. And you played mom for a few months, but I was nothing that you wanted me to be. You wanted me to be a waking dream. Well wake up, I'm still here. You know, I didn't disappear just because you never cared. I can't believe you never cared. Don't look at me that way, as if I'm just a thing keeping you tied down to me. I'm not keeping you tied down to me. You could have cared to raise me then, or brought yourself to just pretend. But you didn't. And you're not forgiven. And now that I've found the strength to speak, I'd like to say you're so damn weak. Blaming everything on me. How dare you blame anything on me? If all your life has turned out wrong, you made those choices on your own. I wasn't born. So don't put that on me. All grown up and all alone I had to learn things on my own. It's fair to say I learned some of them wrong. I got into fights and made mistakes. In my hands a heart could break. I didn't care. I was too cold too far to save. Look at me now. All grown up in this cruel world. Looks like I'm mommy's little girl I'm just like you. Now watch my life unfurl. Don't look at me that way. You know you're partially to blame for the person I became. For this monster I became. You know, I didn't raise myself. We were together in this hell And you could have tried to get me out. But you didn't. And you're not forgiven. So whatever hole you're in today I'd like to say you're free to stay. And if those things you blamed me for lead you back to grace my door, I won't forgive--I won't deter or forget the mom you never were.