Numb

I can feel myself getting more and more numb

Each and everyday.

I always think I find love

But it's never both ways

What is that I'm after, exactly?

Is it love, happiness, purpose, freedom?

They say if you wait patiently

Happiness creeps up on you 

When you least expect it

But i'm afraid if I wait too long

That one day, ill be completely numb

Yet I continue trying, to find it.

I think I hope that it could save me.

But, im just chasing a never ending maze

That has no reward, or purpose.

As much as I try to love,

Or strive to.find my purpose to live

I don't think I can, any longer.

Why do I keep fighting a losing battle?

I cant stand the pain inside

I can't bear it any longer

I minus well be dead,

Since I'm living my life as a numb, zombie.

What is life?

What's my.purpose?

I continue to search

Knowing at the end of this tunnel

Is a black hole, waiting for me to fall.

I'm getting closer, for each day 

I'm getting more and more numb.

No matter how good life gets

Or how much I try to.forget,

The pain remains, 

It will never go away.

I keep searching, to find absolutely nothing.