Numb Desperation

It starts slow 
Creeping over you 
Like frost on the window pane 
You grow cold 
You freeze on the inside 
You feel hollow. 

Numb.  

Desperation melts through 

every once in a while 
makes you want to feel something. 

Anything. 

Empty still, 
you try. 
The cuts pile up, 
or you withdraw until there is nothing 
of your former self. 

Terrified. 

Death becomes tempting. 
No more emptiness.  
No more, "you're faking it." 
No more lies. 

To yourself 
Your family 
Your friends. 

You might try,  
Thinking you have no one. 
That no one would care. 

All alone. 

Until you wake, 
After swallowing a hundred pills 
To see your  
Mother  
Father 
Sister 
Brother 
Lover, 
Crying over you.  

Desperate. 

You regret living, 
Seeing the sadness in their eyes. 
But you know, 
They cared. 

They care.  

You survive, 
Because you know you must 
For them. 
No matter how much 
The deafening silence hurts your ears. 
Or how hollow you feel inside.  

Limp along. 

Keep going, 
Fall down. 
Don't give up again, 
Continue to claw.
Scream .
Yell. 
 

Make them hear you.