Numb is not a feeling

We now live in a history book

we always have, but it’s like the reality of looking in a mirror and realizing the voice talking to you is yourself. 

I forgot how to feel. 

I don’t know where I lost the ability for anger, where it was buried in guilt intensity. 

Sad feels a lot like tired today. 

Stare at a wall for hours.

Does is matter? 

I don’t remember the day, or time

Does it matter if I make my bed only to lay in it again? 

Sun where are you? 

Rain please let me feel you.

Clouds please shadow me, breeze please chill me. 

I yearn to feel something.

Does it matter if I don’t? If I can’t.

“Stay inside” 

I am stuck inside my head. 

My heart is heavy with numbness.

Yet numbness has no feeling.