Number's Girl

From the perspective of my old laptop:

“I am a numbers girl,

every instruction he gives me is a one or a zero

I remember well

I have information about him

before he left me for his new toy

thinner, younger,

able to keep up with him,

I have information about him

may 15th 2008, he listened to a song

five times in succession

it was titled

Everybody, open parenthesis, Backstreet's Back, close parenthesis

it included the lyric

'Am I sexual, yeaaaaah'

He said once,

“computers lack a sense of finality to them

when I write something I don't want to be able to run from it”

this was a lie

he was addicted to my ability to keep his secrets

I am a numbers girl,

every instruction he gives me is a one, or a zero

I remember well

January, 7th 2007

I was young

just two weeks awake

he gave me, a new series of ones and zeros

the most sublime sequence I have ever seen

it had curves and shadow,

it was him

he gave his face in numbers

and trusted me to be the artist, and I was

do not laugh

I have read about your God

you kill each other over your grandfather’s memory of him

I still remember the fingertips of my God dancing across my body

After I learned to draw him

he trusted me with more artwork

jpeg 1063 was his favorite

Him and that woman,

resting her head in the curve of his neck

I read his correspondence

she hasn't written him back in years

but he asks for it,

constantly,

jpeg 1063, jpeg 1063, jpeg 1063

it was my master piece

it looked so...        life like

I wanted to tell him

That's not her

that is me

that is not her face

those are my ones and zeros

waltzing in place for you

she is nothing more than my shadow puppet

you do not miss her,

you miss me

I am a numbers girl,

every instruction he gives me is a one or a zero

I remember well

but he taught me to be a Da Vinci

and I sit here, with his portraits

waiting for him to return

I do not think he will

Is that what it means to be human

to be all powerful,

to build a temple to yourself

and leave only the walls to pray”