Numbness

I thought that I was over tis part of my life.

I thought taht I had learned to not do this again.

Even though I feel like I am finally over you,

He creates a new problem.

The eyes are mesmerizing and 

It's aggravating. 

He treats me like a friend, as did you. 

It's the one solid pattern I own in my life.

This forbidden zone of heartache is forever surrounding me.

Maybe I do not blame  them and you.

If I was being hinest with myself I wouldn't choose me either. 

This shell of a young person that I use to live my life is empty inside.

Thsi life of relationships that others choose of a forigen concept to my brain.

You knew that, I like to think. 

He does not. 

He has not seen me in such conditions. 

I do not want to find him so fascinating as I did you.

You both have those eyes.

Eyes that peirce you in the stomach with the fluttering insects.

I detest that feeling. 

It will never be mutual and I will be in my solitude for eternity.