Oblivion

I am a bird 

I may not seem like much, but I matter 

...

I am a bird and I am sitting on a nest 

Looking down, even though you told me not to 

And I’m waiting for you to push me 

To tell me to get a grip and take a leap 

I lean forward and suddenly I’m falling 

Deeper into my own consciousness 

And then, when I can feel the leaves graze my feathers 

It happens… and I jerk awake 

...

I was dreaming of you again

Only this time, I was the one dying 

I close my eyes to catch the dream before it escapes

Only to be disappointed, just like any other night 

1 A.M. 

...

I stumble, half drunk by the lingering toxins of my dream

And I stare around the universe of boxes that consume your room 

I pick up the one I know holds the memories 

As I open the top, the memories flood me 

And I am no longer this person who dwells on the past

Or worries about the future

...

I am a little girl 

And you’re here 

I can see your cheeks glow red as you push me down 

Blue eyes twinkling as you watch me fall 

Deeper and deeper into the cold, distant white 

I can see the trees that surround you in dancing diamonds 

They make the sapphires shine against the gleaming crystals

Of your smile 

...

I am blind because all I can see are the memories 

All I can see are the blinding lights coming to tell me 

But most of all… I am alone 

2 A.M. 

...

I haven’t seen you in weeks and I lay by your side 

I look into your eyes and it’s not the same 

That smile has left and the glimmer is not in your eyes 

Because you’re dead 

I reached for your hand but you reached for the trigger 

I try to tell them to turn around and go back for you 

But they don’t listen 

And you’re gone…

3 A.M. 

...

The lights

I felt that they would come, but I wasn’t ready 

The lights come to me 

They hand me a leaf with your name upon it 

And tell me that you have flown away forever 

They talk to me about you 

Asking questions 

But they don’t know you 

4 A.M. 

...

I am a bird and I am sitting on a nest 

Waiting for you to push me but you’re not there 

I look up to the black sky above me

And watch as the constellations dance 

 I wonder how everyone can go on but me 

But I am 

I step to the edge and I spread my wings behind me 

I can get it together and I can take the leap 

I look down unafraid of the fall 

And I’m ready 

I’m ready because I know…

I know that when I land…

After I have flown..

After I have worked…

And after I have made every masterpiece that my claws can handle…

I know when I land…

You’ll be there… Waiting for me 

6:30 A.M. 

...

My alarm goes off 

I spread my wings 

And glide off into the empty oblivion