Observations from a Fellow Pair of Lips

Mr. Giggly Lips,

I know the proper etiquette is Dear,

But I don’t actually know if you are

Dear to me that is

Is there a list of people

You care enough about

To introduce as your

Dear?

Like, the top twenty on the list win the giveaway

The rest get a “hello” or “good morning” or “salutations”

Unless they’re all family of course

Then you get to pencil in more names

One for every year you’ve been alive

And if you’re sending an email to a boss or client

You better be quick deciding which second cousin

Or family pet

Or wedding attendee

Is getting the boot

I digress

Don’t take it personally Giggly

Can I call you that?

Or do you prefer Mr. Lips?

I haven’t been keeping neat account of my Dears

I met my number one back a couple years

When I was still wobbly and didn’t know what love was

When I kissed him and still knew who he was

When I loved him and still knew who I was

In love with

Do you think we’re all brains with bodies?

Or bodies with brains?

I thought of this then too

And was so quick to answer

When wobbly kisses went straight to my knees

My brain was the one who relinquished the control

Let me stand easy knowing I was safe

That it approved

Then number one went wandering

Well, with a wish and mission in mind

Toes pointed towards the future

And a book spine in hand

Four years full of pages to write

And stuff into place

And he planned to come back

And build me a present

And my brain shook his and signed the deal

Our investment envelope sealed with a kiss

While waiting, my body forgot who one was

What sealed our agreement oh so long ago

How love felt drumming in my veins

But my brain remembered

So that was good enough for me

To know and not see him

To think of and not be with him

I still believed my brain was keeping track of my dears

For me

Also, one came back occasionally to check in

To revisit and revise our terms

But we never thought anything was wrong

So just as a refresher

We’d seal over the seams we ripped

With a smile

When I closed my eyes and leaned in

My brain told my body—my lips—what to expect

After all, it knew what to expect

It sat like an old librarian

Organizing each and every kiss

Each and every Dear

Like ancient texts

But it didn’t know

It sat in a skull-shaped box

Under a marrow-filled rock

Reading teen romance novels

Like a bible

Convincing itself confident

Waltzing through my body

Like the star of the show at a party

My lips didn’t get the memo

They showed up showing too much teeth

In calcium sharp stilettos

Leaving them sore and bitten raw

They crashed into number one’s

Without remembering their date’s name

And stood awkwardly in one place

Not knowing what to do next

It’s a stranger, lips said

And brain hesitated

And lips laughed

Telling brain three kisses later

That this was one

New one, not old one

Old one could be two if he wanted to

Every client consultation after

We reviewed expectations

Wrote any necessary amendments

And refiled the document

Sealing and resealing again and again

Brain confused as ever

And lips rewriting the list with vigor

So Mr. Giggly Lips

You told me yesterday

You were happy to see me again

That you loved me

And giggled after our reaffirmation meeting

Remarking that it felt like you were kissing

A stranger

That you were cheating on old me with me

My brain says you’re lying

But my lips are smug Mr. Giggly Lips

You are number one and number uncountable

But you are number one and new number one

Does that make you number one and two?

And three and four and onwards?

What’s the rule for when your twenty names are all the same person

With different lips?

Do you call the brain or the body by a name?

Do I call you all Dear?

Or does that make it less special?

I digress again

Etiquette is etiquette

My friends and probably all of yours

Use Dear as liberally as Love

That’s Love with a capital L

A signature’s signature introduction

Letter writing is weird

It takes the love all out of context

But words are just the brain’s tools

To trick you into thinking it knows what it’s taking about

I love you

That’s with the lowercase l

And your lips know that

-Tatiana