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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Knock Knock Knock on wood


Everyday is a repetitious cycle

of compulsive obsessive desires

to match my definition of perfection

and avoid some terrible disaster

jk jk jk.

I have to say jk outloud

to keep it from coming true

but when its not on my lips

its playing out in my mind,

in categorized increments,

of one, two,two, three, three, three.

Other people can’t stand to be around me

because they don’t understand my rationalizing.

jk jk jk.

Backspace,

one letter,

backspace,

two two letters,

backspace,

three three three letters

Every letter builds upon another

and without the backspace bar

to feed my compulsion

my life would go crazy with unpredictable chaos.

Every pencil has its place,

every finger has to touch,

every thought has to be thought-

just the way that it is supposed to,

or else nothing ever will

be just the way its supposed to.

jk jk jk

My entire universe relying on my dependency

of closing, opening, closing,

just to ensure that when I wake up,

my door will be closed so that I can

open, close, open it again.

My ocd isn’t really a problem-

knock knock knock on wood-

as long as things happen the way they should.

It could be worse.

knock knock knock on wood

At least I only do things in increments of three three three-

where some rely on patterns of four four four four.

I can not even imagine-

four four four four is such a dirty word.

it doesn’t feel right inside of me-

Thinking it makes me fear a worldly pandemic.

jk jk jk.

It could be worse.

knock knock knock on wood.

At least I’m not writing this in

perfect syllable, rhythm, and rhyme…

But what if this heinous sin

results in some more evil, satanic crime.

I really need to, absolutely have to, should

not have so hasty been.

Now I wish I could turn back time,

remove the incriminating evidence for good

remove the words of this inconsistent sheet

If only I could just...

[delete delete delete]

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If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone.

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — call or text 988, 24/7. Crisis Text Line — text HELLO to 741741.

KristinaElise_7

Hopeless revolutionary without a cause

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