Have you ever felt a presence that is there but not
Sometimes escaping is before us and we never
Do you understand me, don’t you know that I am alive?
Can you understand that in between each line that I AM SCREAMING
For someone to see me, to help me
I’m talking to a girl that is black like obsidian
Maybe I am simply self-centered and narcissistic
So I’m saying please God, have mercy and let me sleep
The type of unconscientious conscious that is merely there but not even
Listen to my heavy breaths, sure that each one is my last
The girl that I talk to doesn’t know me because I am all
Fucking alone, challenged by science and spirituality
I am the definition of a hypocrite because so many people are there looking
And helping and supporting and talking and just alive but
I am so alone in this
This is my sins between illness and health
Or maybe I’ve made it up because my brain craves attention
But I know that I’m a hypochondriac hypocrite who is very sad
For no goddamn reason honestly.
Obsidian and ebony and nickel and crystals and karat
Make up my thoughts and promises
So I’m sorry, so very sorry that I shove these needles into my skin
That most days I’m a repeating puppet
I love you all so much, god I love you.