Ocean

I can’t feel.

i am depressed.

i am suicidal.

i try to fix myself like I have before.

if these happened then, I wouldn’t be here.

i am stronger and I can do it.

but when I need to feel,

i force myself to cry,

even if I can’t.

i need to feel pain to know I can still feel something at all.

so many emotions,

but not happiness?

just a fake small breeze of a grin.

why can’t I be happy?

why?

i just want happiness.

i have so much to do,

no time to feel.

i need a break,

but NO TIME!

just let me live! 

LET ME LIVE!

i need to feel,

I crave to feel,

MAKE ME FEEL!

engulfed at the bottom of the sea with a brick chained to my leg.

i let my last air bubble out,

but what does the bubble speak?

fear, love, terror, hope, pain?

nothing.

just fake air.

nothing can be real anymore.