Like the Ocean does

I felt for the first time

Alive

Almost as if I had just dove into cold icy waters

On a december morning

And woken up to realize it was all a dream

Simple

Peaceful

But still, just a dream

And I knew

In that moment

That the ocean whispered my name

And that everyone else pulled me in the other direction of what society wants me to do with my life

But all I wanted was to feel the pulse of the waters

And my heartbeat matching each other in unison

I wanted the wild reckless storms that coursed through my veins

Flowed into places known and unknown

I wanted to love, love deeply, love wholly and forever and never be told that it was too much

That I was too much

I have heard those words before

That in the light of the morning rays some people want a cup of dark coffee,

Others want honey and milk

But so what if I was simply water that woke you up in hot showers

Or if I was the morning breeze as you pressed yourself closer to your blanket on your porch

I was not sunshine, nor was I the hurricane I thought myself to be

I was healing from that, from the scars of past mistakes

Of past decisions

None of which I regret, adderall, it led me here.

To this awakening

I have felt glassy stares pass my way

and I have lost many and mourned those losses when I should have been realized

But..it’s alright

I have to remind myself that I am no longer a hurricane

No longer a storm. I am far more than that

I am the salty waters that turn and that kiss the shoreline hello and goodbye

I am the ocean green and misty blue skies

I am the universe of starlight that gazes adoringly at the ocean

Forever in love with someone she cannot be with

Be gentle to yourself, I say in the quiet of the night

Sometimes,you need to find the time to make peace with yoursef

Like the ocean does