Ode to the Ex-Boyfriend of My Broken Heart

I wonder. 

If when you look at me you still see the memories,

And all the joy that we shared.

Together.

Because I look at you and feel as if I am looking at a stranger.

But when I think of you, I think of who I knew...

And then to see what you've become.

I don't know if you regret, or remorse, or even care anymore.

I don't know what you feel or if you notice how I hurt so. 

That even if I'm not crying in front of you,

My heart is so numb I feel as if it is not even there.

I wonder.

How long had you stopped feeling towards me?

For me?

I thought we were in love.

We had a future.

Together.

I wonder if you still feel.

I don't.

Because you're still in the back of my mind.

You are my mind.

My dreams, my thoughts, the things I say,

It all comes back to you.

I know I'm pathetic.

Gosh- I'm so pathetic.

I still look forward to seeing you in the hallway, hoping you'll smile and wave.

I hope that you remember that you still have my heart,

That you are my heart,

I'm lost without you.

I hope that you see that I'm suffering.

And I hope that I'm still in your prayers.

And I wonder if you're wondering about me.