OFFICIAL APOLOGY AND RESIGNATION OF IMPORTANCE

To whom it may concern:

i.e. parents, teachers, friends, and family

Yes, here I am again

Pockmarked with the tears of self pity

And I love the scars on my face

I embrace them

And I elaborate on who I am

To make myself seem small

Thus bringing in other's pity for me

And really there is no way to apologize

Because the other person ends up

Forgiving me or saying

"That's okay"

And I know it's not

I want to apologize for being me

Because I am a truly terrible person

But those marks will only grow deeper

Because I refuse to stop them

And others will gratify my horribleness

I'm sorry for the pain I've caused and

Don't pretend I haven't

I'm sorry for sucking so much

Don't say it's okay because it's not

Say that I'm right and I'm terrible

It's not fine and neither am I

But that's a story for another time

For now, I expose my self pity and ask you

Don't do it for me I do it enough

Ignore my elaborations of hatred

And self doubt

I am pockmarked with the tears of self pity

And I know it's my own fault

I await your reply but never expect it,

Because I know I don't deserve it,

- Olivia