Oh

I spent so much time growing up

That I forgot who I was

What I wanted

And all that snuff.

I went ahead and did things

Some of them I'm proud of,

Many of them I'm not.

But that never bothered me until I realized:

Was I ever the person that younger me needed to be?

Was I a good role-model,

someone I would want my sisters to look up to and be?

Maybe on the surface.

Maybe on paper I looked good.

Presentable, respectable.

But inside I was disposable.

Dejected and rejected

Time and time again.

Life was making me tired.

Living was killing me.

Slowly.

Oxygen became the fire eating me away inside.

Water became the poisoning in my system,

a virus causing a shut down on this out-dated hard drive.

Each day I wasted away

Getting sicker and sicker

Hating the sun and all its glory

Hating the moon and all her waxing and waning

Hating me.

I was my own disease,

Pushing too hard to be perfect

To look good for everyone.

But one day it all changed.

Not my knight in shining armour.

Not my handsome prince.

Not a man trying to save me for himself.

But a dark villain in his conquests 

Stumbling over me.

My body tripping his steed.

Killing his speed.

And in me he found a darkness matching his.

And I found my missing piece.

The antidote for my poison.

We can't all be perfect.

So we stop trying to be.

And I may not be a "good little girl"

But I am one hell of a wife.

Or at least, soon  to be.