Oh Flounder Mind

Oh flounder mind you move the sea
Oh come and look at me 
I pray night and day
for love to come my way, 
I look deep with my mind
for the inward part of me 
why I had shout all doors
and now I look for more, 

My my has been working over time
that keeps me up late at night
that is the way the old sea cry's 
leaving my mind stain as glassed
looking beyond the past, 

Oh why do my mind keep my heart to flounder? 
It is taken me to a place I had once crave
I started feeling so much intense needs 
with vivid hungers of sweet delight
on the others side of my wildest dreams 
I would see so much evergreen, 

Oh what a beautiful things I did see
into the night the stars did shine so ever bright
re flicking there shades of beauty on the sea
twinkling away at me
all darkness made its round like lost and found
with out a sound for solid grounds, 

confusion came over me
like I was lost into a dream
fear and lost made a bust so deadly over me
all my emotions for true devotions 
submerged beneath my wildest dreams
the earth was no longer under my feet
oh how I do feel so weak 
like a child so scared holding on to fear
that seems to always stand so near, 

All the beauty I once had taken in 
had shadowed me in so much sins
I was lost and not yet found on true solid grounds
I started feeling empty like the waves of the sea
bringing on sadness in dreams
guilt and hate with so much blames 
from the past of another time, 

I started thinking how often I would laid in my bed
thinking back to and old beaten down past 
my mind moved along like the wind
sing out sad old sound of back then
now every time I think about sleeping 
my mind starts weeping
because I don't want to fall asleep into darken dreams, 

This old fear is so dreadful to me
it always comes back to me in nightmares
that eat away at my mind 
cutting deep within me
every time I tried to get this off of my mind
I could hear the old wind crying over again
the old strings of time 
that was never mine, 

All my emotions got lost behind all closed doors
I tried so hard to get what it was I missed
I get up feeling so scared 
hold my body like it had been wounded 
voices from these closed doors 
crying out saying open the door please 
and let your pain run out like rain
I started feeling like all my bones were broken, 

All walls started building up 
my mind didn't want to give up 
the truth and love was at my inter doors
but my mind felt all the pain of lost time
My world started crashing down 
while everyone else just stud around
just to watch me bleed and weep 
like the old wind of time 
stripping away my spirit of faith
Oh floundering soul where did you go? 

Poetic Lilly Emery (c)