Oh, What Depressive Thoughts!

My depression feels like so many things all rolled up into one.

At it's worst, it is overwhelming sadness and a certainty

 that I am not good enough and that no one could

ever really love me.

It feels that no matter how hard I try, I will never be worthy.

It's an emptiness inside that can't be filled.

 I feel tired with no energy to do anything. At the same time,

I feel as though if I don't keep moving the blackness

 will swallow me whole. I cannot summon the strength to

get up and do something. So I stay stuck in this black hole

 that I can't climb out of.

 I eat, sleep, and go to work because I have to.

Nothing brings me pleasure.

At its best,

 I am still a little tired but I feel like spending time

 with friends and doing things.

I find pleasure in emotions again.

 I still have a voice inside whispering that I'm not

good enough but I tell her to shut her hole and live my life.

 I know I am loved and try hard to remind myself of that.