Oh, Woe Is Me

Dear Sunken Soul,

        At this point in life, I have given up. I am strong because I have to be but I hate myself everyday and am depressed. Nothing interests me and nothing that I want to happen actually works out for so I don't look forward to anything. I'm never fully happy.....I have happy moments but I never just find myself in a fully positive and motivated state becasue I feel as though it is all for nothing. Tears roll off of my cheeks every night and at times and I just want a way out of my misery. My confidence is totally shot and that might be why I can't or don't see myself getting anywhere in life. I do not know exactly when or where I lost my confidence but a lot of things are starting to cause my anxiety to sky rocket. I have always been shy but it has gotten to a point where I can't function around certain types of people and it mkaes me nervous and feel really out of place and then the anxiety kicks in. It really bothers me because because even while I have always been shy, I could still be social with just about anybody and little trouble speaking in front of people but I am just so scared and paranoid of everything now. I can never just manage to let loose and relax. Always uncomfortable and tense. When I get around people who are really loud, high energy or people that were really popular or were the type of people that were mean to me in high school ( anyone that gives off that vibe or fits into that category), I just completely avoid because my nerves jsut can't handle it. I wish I was popular, more outgoing, and had better social skills. I used to not have those problems but after eighth grade my personality just kept going in and out, trying to change for others and changing myself all the time so that I might feel different and confident again but I missed the mark every time and it hasn't gotten better going into my adult years. And somewhere in there, I kind of gave up on myself.....hating life, myself, God and it just makes me feel so helpless and I want to know what I can do to change it. For those who have reached out, they just use the same cliche quotes and that never gets me anywhere. At this point in life, I have just given up.

Sincerely,'

A Concerned Individual