Okay.

The desire gets me. It grabs a hold of me and does not want to let go.

I never want it to stop.

I want the feeling forever and I want it just for myself.

I do not want reality. It is in reality where my demons hide, craving attention.

I like the escape. The power. The resilience.

It makes me numb, makes me allow what I should not allow.

It flourishes through my veins and my flesh.

The warmth forces my lips to all of the "yes's" and "okay's" of the each night.

It puts me in rhythm with the thrill of the moment and allows me to flow with the rest.

Oh, and it is never enough either.

I always want more.

Give me more.

I cannot handle it? Maybe not.

But it makes me believe that I can, if even just for a while.

It speaks for me.

And that is okay in my mind.

I'll allow it.

I'll always allow it,