I get bitter when I think about you
Blood convulsing just below the surface
Angry not that you are gone
But at the way you left.
When I hear your name said and the bitter words are not mine
I stand in your defense
It seems that whatever part of me that is still twitterpated over you enjoys rearing its head only to make me look like a love drunk fool.
I am no love drunk fool and I never was.
Girlishness-daydreams and laughter-these are not foolish, only recognized as so.
Love is not foolish.
It is foolish, though
To lock in the anger I keep for you.
I hold it as tenderly as I might’ve held you because I am afraid to break it.
I do not want my anger to break because then
I will be left with tenderness
Like the soft spot I grew for you that will never go away
Like gentle touches etched into my chest like a scarlet letter.
I must be brave enough to expose the tenderness you left me with in order to drop the harshness of this anger.
I will be brave enough to let go of this resentment.