Old friends

We’re old friends, you and I

The kind you greet with a friendly wave

How are you, it’s been so long 

Your hair has grown, your soul has changed 

But I still know your middle name

And how you like your coffee

Just like you, intense, but sweet

Damaging like an addiction 

Shuddering, shaking, an emptiness I can’t quite place 

The feeling of being so incomplete 

Your stolen pieces of me

My fragmented dreams of us

I know all of your darkest thoughts 

And the calluses on your fingers 

The way your eyelashes get tangled

And how you smile when you’re in pain

You’re the reason I laugh like a child

You’re the reason I’m scared of time 

You’re the person who stole every dream from my heart 

You’re the purpose I can’t unshake 

We’re just friends now

And I tell people it’s fine 

That you and I just didn’t work out

That I’m glad we’re where we are now

But your smile is a shard of glass 

A broken bottle on the kitchen floor 

Your voice tears off my bandages 

Open wounds, bleeding again 

Let’s pretend not to see the wreckage 

Somehow the comforting pain of loss

Would be better then pretending it never happened 

Your arms around me — like a stranger

Lying to me

lying to you 

Because if we’re just friends 

This shouldn’t hurt 

If we’re just friends 

Was it ever real?

Old friends who were once lovers 

And never lovers again

We’re ghosts of what we were 

Shadows dancing on familiar floors

Friends who once planned 

our whole lives together 

And watched them fall apart 

And left each other, alone, confused 

Only to act like nothing happened 

Like we can be friends 

Like our friendship 

Isn’t just grief that won’t let go